Hannah O'Sullivan

Going into the final round of the Symetra Tour Mesa Gateway Classic, Hannah O'Sullivan is leading by four strokes over Haley Italia.

The Symetra Tour is the "Road to the LPGA", like the Web.com Tour is to the PGA Tour.  The field includes several current and former LPGA Tour players, and the 2005 US Open Champion.

Hannah is a junior at Hamilton High School in Chandler.  Her 65 on Saturday tied for the lowest round in tournament history.

Update:  She was -4 on the front 9, stretched the lead to 7 strokes, and finished 15 under par (tournament record), winning by 4.  She's hoping for a sponsor's exemption to the LPGA Founders' Cup in March, but is prepared to qualify if necessary.  She's the youngest winner ever on the Symetra Tour.  (Lydia Ko won on the LPGA Tour at 15.)

Italia was the low pro, claiming the winner's check but not the trophy.  It was her first win*.

The story on ESPN.

Irish humor

Oldies but goodies:

Why Irish eyes are full of laughter.   Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

 

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

 

Paddy was in New York . He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' The pedestrians crossed, and then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

 

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finn. 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!' 'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finn. 'Where are ye callin' from?'

 

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

 

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' 'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.' 'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

 

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Laddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.. In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' Paddy said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' 'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Gambling

For staying in the Eagle View RV park across the street, also owned by the Yavapai tribe, we get a weekly $10 credit for the Fort McDowell casino.  It's only good on certain penny and nickel slots.  We hadn't gone for 4 weeks, so we each had $40 on our card.  We wanted to go to the buffet, all you can eat crab legs tonight, but the line was too long so we just had a sandwich in the deli and headed for the slots.

I tried a new machine this time, the Frog Prince, and on my first $20 I won $48 !!  My biggest win since we've been here.  Vicki had won $15 on a $10 bankroll the first night, that was the previous best.  Then on my old standard Cleopatra machine,  I won another $20.25, for $68.25 cash winnings for my $40 free credits.  Vicki won $31.25, too, so we are almost $100 richer.

Thank you, Yavapai Nation!  We've already made our reservations to come back here next year.

Super Bowl XLIX